Family is on my mind this holiday season.
I miss my step-daughter, her husband and their boys in Denver more than I can say. I wish I could visit my sisters back east, but that’s not going to happen this year.
It’s nice to notice how much I appreciate them all. I can’t say I’ve always been grateful for family. As many of you know, I come from a challenging one, to say the least.
As spiritual beings, we choose our families. Perhaps for growth, perhaps out of karma, perhaps out of love, perhaps with an intention to bring healing.
If you’re struggling with relatives and old wounds are feeling fresh, remember that you chose this soul group when you incarnated. You chose perfectly in alignment with your intentions for this journey in Earth. I know that in dysfunctional groups, this seems outrageous. The first time I heard it I laughed out loud.
Even in the healthiest of households, family members can drive us crazy. Things can get especially spicy at holiday time, when schedules are frenzied and tempers are raw.
If you’re planning someone’s murder as you sit at the holiday dinner table; sit back, center yourself and remember all is unfolding by divine agreement. What are these folks teaching you or helping you unfold in your journey?
One of my sisters, Wendy, has cut off the whole family and has no contact with any of us. She said goodbye to me in a letter about 15 years ago. It’s so sad. Since Wendy has cut us off, she isn’t in present time. Her picture of us is frozen in the past.
Wendy doesn’t know how much we’ve all healed ourselves and our relationships with each other. She missed all the purifying communication and transformation that happened near the end of my mother’s life and the good times since. We don’t have the joy of knowing her and her journey either.
At that time when my mother was nearing transition and having cognitive challenges, I called her one morning and she thought I was Wendy. She dropped her coffee on the floor and broke into tears exclaiming how happy she was to hear from me/her and how she’d so wished to get that call. It was heartbreaking to tell her it was “just me” and then to listen to her be nice trying to cover the disappointment and pain.
Please remember that change and healing are always possible. Always. When people are truly toxic in your world, it is healthy to sever ties. If you’re entertaining this option, please consider carefully. Can you set boundaries without shutting them out completely? Can you say you need a year away to heal? Can you leave the door open just a crack? Maybe not, but it’s worth a look.
I know I’ll see Wendy again after we die and I imagine we’ll talk of all that’s been this time around. Still, it sure would be nice to see her big smile in the flesh, to reconnect, to catch up.
I hope that Wendy is happy, healthy and surrounded by loving friends. Look around at the smiling faces surrounding you, be they biological relatives or your spiritual family. Take a deep breath, dive in and enjoy the holiday season!